Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Life with Tate

Hello again! It's been a long time since I've had some free time to blog, and I would apologize for my lack of updates, but there are times when living and enjoying life are far more important than writing about it...these past weeks have been just that.

I will start by saying that every day with Tate is a gift. In the morning I wake up, and as the day unwraps itself it never ceases to amaze me how much I love him. I look at him in awe of how much this little human being has transformed my life, my world, my heart. I never really understood what it was to know someone who makes your life worth living until I experienced motherhood. It is deliciously fulfilling.


Now honestly, I am tired. I have never known exhaustion like this. I've never even imagined exhaustion like this. I've stopped trying to cover up the circles under my eyes with makeup and have just accepted having them for the forseeable future. I know one day Tate will start sleeping through the night...I just wish I knew when it was. Even if it was going to be another 10 months or 2 years...just knowing when would be such a comfort. Ah well. After about 4-5 weeks my body started to adapt to my sleepless existence and now I am pretty comfortable with it. Sometimes at night I cry and beg Tate to go back to sleep, but most of the time I secretly relish the quiet hours of the morning when no-one is awake, and it's just he and I together.

I've gotten to know Tate pretty well over the last 8 weeks. I know that he kicks his legs for about half an hour before he poops. I know he loves bathtime, and will happily sit in the tub having water poured over him like a king for more than half an hour. I know he loves the panda on his bouncy seat and will sit smiling at it for a surprisingly long time. I know that when he starts to stir at night, I'm far better off getting a bottle warmed up right away than trying to squeeze in an extra 10-15 minutes of sleep while he wakes up, because once he's up if the milk isn't ready he is pissed. I know he loves it when I kiss him on the mouth and then each cheek and say "Momma got you!" and then when I do he will break into a big goofy smile - every time. I know he loves his stroller, and as soon as it starts rolling he will fall asleep and stay that way for hours (I discovered this one afternoon when I got lost on a walk in Thunder Bay - Tate slept for 3 hours while I wandered around like an idiot.)

Obviously I can't chronicle every event we've experienced here, but I will share a few notable ones:

One morning I was feeding Tate and I stopped mid-feeding to burp him. I guess I twisted the lid a bit when I put the bottle down, because when I picked it back up and moved to put it in his mouth the lid fell off and milk poured all over the poor kid. He was totally oblivious to what had just happened and kept laying there smiling at me. I felt like a moron.

On the way to Thunder Bay, Jim locked the keys in the car...with Tate in it. I nearly lost my mind while Jim and an old man tried to get in with a coat hanger, and when it was finally unlocked I was so relieved that my anger dissipated and I realized how awful Jim must have felt. I made a mental note to always keep the keys in sight.

One morning I was getting Tate undressed for the bath, and just before I whisked him off to the tub, I couldn't resist bending down to kiss his naked little belly. At that moment, he decided to pee...it went in my hair, then my mouth, then down my shirt and pants and all over the bed. That's a lesson I won't have to learn twice.

The past 8 weeks have been an incredible lesson in patience, love, understanding, and acceptance. Motherhood is kicking my butt, and I love it. From sleep deprivation to breastmilk suddenly drying up to postpartum healing to baby-weight-losing I have been put through the wringer...but I love every moment of it.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for updating! I Love to read about people's experiences with their babies.
    "I know that when he starts to stir at night, I'm far better off getting a bottle warmed up right away than trying to squeeze in an extra 10-15 minutes of sleep" - I wish my husband understood this! He ALWAYS tried to score the extra few min of sleep! hehe

    How long have you not been b/fing? If it's not long I have a wonderful medication I can send you called domperidone, it saved BFing for me and lots of other women. If you ever had established a full suppply this will bring it back. It's called Domperidone and it's a reflux medication and is TOTALLY safe, they even prescribe it for infants who are spitting up too much. I'll try to catch you on facebook about it. I have a bottle left that I can mail you and any dr will prescribe it for you if you ask for it.

    Felicia

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